The Kiss
by Lil Smartass
Summary: Marauder humour. Hopefully without ickiness. Please Read and Review.
1. Scene one: practice

**The Kiss**

**A/N: **These ideas were the random thoughts of me and my mentally unstable cousin. We don't mean them in a gay way we were just watching the entire series 2 of friends and thought it was incredibly funny.

**Disclaimer: **People say that stealing is wrong but when you are stealing cute guys I think that those rules can be ignored.

**Scene One: **_Marauders seventh year. Gryffindor common room. Peter and Remus are sitting at a table doing homework and Sirius is lounging in a chair. Enter: James looking worried._

"Sirius?" said James as he walked into the common room and plonked himself down opposite his friend.

"Hmmm?"

"Do I look like a good kisser to you?"

Sirius looked up arching an eyebrow, "Excuse me?"

"Do I look like a good kisser?" repeated James, trying (and failing) to sound casual.

Sirius mouthed soundlessly for a moment unable to voice his total confusion, "Well…I don't know…I don't look at you like that…" he paused for a second, still looking completely bewildered, then in an attempt to lighten the mood he asked brightly, "Do I look like a good kisser to you?"

James ignored this and turned as Remus spoke, "Why don't you ask Lily?" he said, in a tone that suggested that this was the most obvious course of action.

"I can't!" wailed James his face a mask of anguish, "It's her I want to be a good kisser for!"

"You should get someone who you trust to give their honest opinion to kiss you," said Peter, not looking up from his doodling.

James stood up and moved towards him.

"Not me!" squeaked Peter looking absolutely terrified, "I've never kissed a girl, I won't know if you're a good or a bad kisser!"

James glanced at Remus.

"Busy!" the werewolf replied without looking up.

As one the three turned to Sirius who was giving them a look that suggested they had completely lost their minds.

"Padfoot?" said James hopefully.

Sirius shook his head emphatically. "If I get that desperate I'll hang a sign that says 'For Hire' around my neck."

James looked pensive for a moment then in a quietly thoughtful tone of voice he said, "I wonder if Amanda Higglesberry still thinks that she rolled over a carton of juice that night in the astronomy tower."

"This from the guy who wants to kiss another guy!"

"This is an emergency!" shrilled James.

"So was that!" responded Sirius.

There was a minute of silence.

"Okay," said Sirius grudgingly, "Fine. I'll do it."

"Thanks Padfoot," said James gratefully, "I could kiss you."

Sirius's scowl became more pronounced, "You're going to!" he shouted.

"I'm not looking forward to it either!" responded James testily.

"Really?" growled Sirius in a sarcastically hurt voice, "because I am."

The pair moved closer to each other. James grabbed Sirius's shoulders in a spasmodically jerky gesture.

"Not so hard!" muttered Sirius.

"Ooooh! He doesn't like it rough!" said Peter from the corner.

The pair in the centre of the common room ignored this and drew closer.

"I'm going to kiss you now," said Sirius, sounding as though he was trying to convince himself.

"Romantic!" drawled Remus giving Peter a high five as he said it.

Sirius clenched his fists and moved his arms around James's waist.

"No. my mistake, he does like it rough after all," quipped Peter as Sirius's grip tightened.

"Would the running commentary in the corner please desist," muttered James through clenched teeth, "You're ruining the moment."

"Yes Peter be quiet!" agreed Remus," You're ruining the kiss of the century. I might write an article for the school paper."

"If you do you won't live long enough to regret it," threatened James.

Sirius and James drew still closer together. James tilted his head to the side, Sirius licked his lips. Their lips were about an inch apart when Sirius muttered, "If you stick your tongue down my throat Prongs I'll rip it out."

But any other threats he may have about to add were lost as James kissed him.

"Well," said Sirius, panting slightly as they broke apart, "Well, I don't think Lily has anything to worry about."


	2. Scene two: blackmail

**The Kiss**

**A/N: **Well the first part went well. We at least thought it was funny. That in itself is probably a good reason why I shouldn't be left in a room with a pot of coffee, my cousin and several friends DVDs.

**Disclaimer: **None of this belongs to us. Most of it belongs to JK but the friends producers should also get some credit.

**Scene Two: **_Marauders sixth year. In a random corridor somewhere. The four plus Snape have just come out of Dumbledore's office having been interrogated about Sirius's actions in sending Snape to the shrieking shack._

"What a shame you weren't expelled Black!" muttered Snape from where he was trailing behind the group.

"What a shame you survived Snivillus!" growled Sirius without turning around.

"Sirius," said Remus pleadingly.

"Yes Black," smirked Snape, "How would you feel if your pet werewolf had become a murderer."

Sirius took a step towards him, his eyes blazing with anger, looking ready to rip Snape limb from limb.

Snape took a step back, but still smirking continued, "Second murder attempt in one night Black tut tut. Got anything else big and hairy to try and eat me?"

James could see Sirius visibly shaking with the effort of not transforming and shredding Snape himself. He put a restraining hand on Sirius's shoulder.

"What a fine group we have," persisted Snape, his sneer unfaltering, "A werewolf, a cling-on, an arrogant git and his sidekick who can't get the girl."

By now they were all shaking with rage.

"You know," said Snape, his voice thoughtful now, "I could let the whole school know about this, make out that someone else found out. I'm sure I can find someone in first year stupid enough to take the fall."

The group became deadly still, save for Remus, whose mouth contorted into an undeniable expression of fear.

"If you do Snivillus I'll…I'll…" began Sirius.

Snape looked nonplussed, "You'll what?"

James scowled and ran his tongue over his teeth as prone to do whilst thinking. "What do you want Snape?"

Snape's sneer became more pronounced and he rubbed his nails against his robes and admired them for a moment. "Oh, you'd never agree to what I've got in mind. so you may as well accept that the whole school is going to know about this. Evans is going to know about this."

"Piece of filth!" started Sirius.

James merely shrugged, "I come off really well from this." Then catching sight of Remus he shook his head, "but that's not the point. What do you want?"

Snape smirked again in a way eerily reminiscent of their old head boy, Lucius Malfoy. "You'll do it?"

James scowled again, he knew that Snape was trying to exact a promise from him and he hated it but none the less…

"I have just risked expulsion to keep Remus out of trouble; do you really think that there is anything you can come up with that I won't do?"

"Oh good," beamed Snape, looking genuinely happy for perhaps the first time, "because I want you to make out with someone for a whole minute."

"Who? Lily Evans?"

Snape flicked his eyes over to Sirius. It took a moment for James to click.

"Oh no. No. no, no, no."

"That's blackmail!" interjected Peter in a would be angry voice.

"You don't say Pettigrew!" said Snape snidely before turning back to James. "I thought you'd do anything to protect the werewolf?" he said in a tone of mock concern.

"You want me to make out with Sirius? For one minute?"

"Could ya?"

"Eww!" James and Sirius chorused, then turned to each other, "No offence."

The pair maintained eye contact, "Better you than him," said Sirius, gesturing to Snape.

"I don't see why it can't be Lily," grumbled James then turned to Snape, "Enjoy this Snivillus; you'll never see it again."

"I wouldn't count on it Potter. I hear once you've kissed a guy you never go back."

"And you would know would you?" hissed Sirius.

"Be careful Black, I don't want to have to take a picture as well."

Sirius bit his lip to restrain the sarcasm bubbling inside him and turned back to James. "You ready?"

James took a deep breath, as though about to dive underwater. "Ready!"

And their lips met.

It was more than a little unfortunate that at that moment a slender red head turned the corner on prefect patrol. "You've finally realised how unlikely it is that I'll ever go out with you then Potter?"

James broke contact and whirled around to meet the amused gaze of Lily Evans.

"Lily no! It's not what you think! Get off me Sirius!"

"Oh but James, honey," he said pulling James closer, then in response to the muffled snigger to his left continued, "I'm kidding Snivillus. Don't get excited."

"Sirius get the fk off me," cried James and as Sirius let go he raced after Lily.

**A/N: **Well that's all we've got at the moment actually. If you have any ideas send then to us. Via review. hint hint  


	3. Scene three: I'll date you when

**The Kiss**

**A/N: **Wow, can we take this opportunity to thank our first reviewer, what you said really made our day, or night as it were in Englishland. Thanks to the rest of our reviewers as well, what reviewers want, reviewers should have, so here we go drum roll please MORE SCENES. Can we also take the opportunity to point out that these events DID NOT all happen, we are not suggesting for a moment that James/Sirius got more action than James/Lily.

**Disclaimer: **If we say it is all ours will you (or anybody else) believe us?

**Scene Three: **_Marauders seventh year. James and Lily are alone in a charms classroom, James has just asked her out…yet again._

"I'll date you when hell freezes over James Potter! No, even less likely, I'll date you when you get a french kiss from that sidekick of yours!" she screamed before exiting the room in a flurry of red hair.

James stared after her, "Well, what Evans wants, Evans gets," he muttered and set off for the Gryffindor common room in search of Sirius.

Sirius was sitting at a table pouring over the marauders map and planning the night's excursion as it was the full moon that evening.

James marched up to him, "Sirius?"

"Mmmmm?"

"You're my best friend right?"

"Mmmmmm?"

"So you'd do anything for me right?"

Sirius looked up, "James, mate, I don't have any money."

"Wha? No this isn't about money. But you'd do anything for me right?"

Sirius turned a worried expression on James, "James, I'm not attempting murder again, do you REMEMBER what happened the last time?" (**A/N: **Like I said, these scenes are not intended to have all happened so Sirius is referring purely to the months of detention they received, but feel free to snigger at the memory of our genius if you wish.)

"Sirius! Seriously! Would you?"

Growing concerned at James's continued serious expression Sirius nodded slowly, "Yeah, of course I would." Then memories of stunts pulled by his friend in years gone past flickered through his mind and he hastily added, "Within reason."

"How's french kissing me?"

"That's definitely NOT within reason!" yelped Sirius jumping up as Remus sniggered from the corner.

James turned to Remus, "Over my dead body!"

James turned back to Sirius, "And I will be using his dead body as a shield!"

"Sirius please!"

"You want to french kiss me?"

"No, of course not!"

Sirius looked relieved.

"I want _you _to french kiss _me_."

The look of relief vanished.

"Did I mention the part about a shield?"

James looked at the ground. "You're right Padfoot," he took a step towards his friend, "Have I mentioned how gorgeous you look today?"

Sirius beamed widely, "I always look…" then he noticed James leaning in, lips puckered, "Oh no!" he said, ducking.

"And why have you got this idea into your head?" asked Remus in a long suffering voice that told James his friend thought this was another of his bizarre schemes.

"It's to make Lily go out with me."

"Sure, convince her you're gay, what a turn on!"

"It turns me on," said Nearly Headless Nick floating through a nearby wall.

"Are you listening to our conversations?" asked Sirius in a horror-struck voice.

"That's not the point," cried James, "Are you gay?"

Nick drifted silently through the opposite wall, leaving Sirius to mutter about how he was never going to let that ghost in his dormitory again.

"And back to gay man number one!" said Remus, "This is a jealousy thing right?"

"No, Lily said she'd go out with me if I french kissed a guy."

Sirius looked at him with narrowed eyes, "Maybe you're delusional Prongs. What did she actually say?" he asked, refraining from leaning in to his friend.

"She said, 'I'll date you if you get a french kiss from that sidekick of yours.'"

Sirius swapped a look with Remus who shook his head, "I don't see a way of misinterpreting that, looks like you're up," he said and leaned back in his chair, grinning broadly.

Sirius sat down, "I'd get a new crush then mate," he said, his voice one which brooked no argument.

James stood over his friend. "Who lent you fifteen galleons so that you could bet on the Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw Quidditch match?"

"You!"

"Who covered for you with Amanda Higglesberry when you were snogging Chastity Wilde behind greenhouse three?"

"You!"

"And who…"

"Yes, okay I get it."

"You'll do it?"

Sirius sighed, "I'll do it."

"Do you think we should practice?"

"Practice?"

"So it looks good."

"I am not doing this in front of an audience!"

"No, I know, but do you think we should?"

Sirius shook his head and sighed again, "Okay, fine."

They moved together and as their lips met the portrait hole opened, admitting Peter. He glanced at James and Sirius now sucking face in the middle of the common room and then at Remus.

"Hey Remus," he said before doing a double take and swinging back round to James and Sirius who had yet to come up for air.

"It's okay Peter," said Remus calmly, "Sirius and James are just practising."

Sirius and James hastily separated themselves and looked over at Peter, trying to look as if this was a normal state of affairs.

"Do you often kiss when I'm not around?" asked Peter hesitantly.

"No but Nick does," said Sirius noticing Remus shudder.

Peter raised both eyebrows as he lacked the ability to raise just one.

"Nearly Headless Nick is gay. Didn't you know?" said James, sounding for all the world as though he had known for years.

"And we let him in our dormitory because?" prompted Peter.

"Because we're comfortable with our sexuality," Sirius said firmly.

Peter turned to Remus who was sniggering in the corner, "Why are they doing this?"

"Because between them they've kissed every girl in the school, they've got to their action somewhere."

"So what happens when they…you know…with every girl in the school?"

Remus fell on the floor laughing.

The next day after charms James tapped Lily on the shoulder as she made as if to leave the charms classroom.

"Lily?"

"The answer is no!" said Lily without turning around.

"I wasn't going to say that!" he said, sounding offended.

Grudgingly she turned to face him.

"Do you remember what you said to me yesterday?"

Lily pretended to think, "No?"

"You said you'd date me if…"

"Hell freezes over?"

"Or?"

"If you got a kiss from your sidekick," she continued, the conversation coming back to her.

"Well watch this," said James, grabbing Sirius.

"Stop the madness!" shouted Peter suddenly, breaking in between them and pushing them apart.

Remus shoved him out of the way, "My Wizarding Wireless is broken," he said, "I don't have any other comedy."

And Lily was left to look totally horrified as the boy who had been asking her out every other day (at least) stuck his tongue down his best friends' throat. By the time the pair resurfaced however, her expression had changed to one of faint amusement.

"If I'd known you were going to do it I'd have said when you get a french kiss from Snape."

"Is that a yes?"

"No, the answer is still no!" smirked Lily and walked out of the room.

James turned to Sirius who had drawn his wand and looked murderous. Quickly he began to fumble inside his robes for his own wand but was distracted as Remus said, "Not to interrupt but shouldn't someone stop her before she tells someone?"

Swapping a fleeting look Sirius and James raced down the corridor after Lily.

**A/N: **We do have a few ideas still to go but we will appreciate any ideas you can give us. There you go, incentive to push that little blue button!                 


	4. Truth or dare?

**The Kiss**

**A/N: **Once again, thanks to all our reviewers with a virtual cookie and a hug going to Ike hime who is our first regular. Can I take this opportunity to shamelessly plug my other fic-Summer's The Time To Relax, extreme Sirius angst (come on girls, you know you love it and you can always come back here to cheer up). Anyway, in a burst of madness as my brother gets home this evening I welcome you to scary Dracula voice chapter 4.

**Disclaimer: **None of this belongs to us, but we do currently have the marauders locked in my room so if you want them returned safely REVIEW! Can I also credit the burnt match joke to Clam Chowder1.

**Scene four: **_Third year. It is the middle of the night and in the Gryffindor boys' dormitory Peter is sitting up in bed scared of the storm outside._

Peter sighed, "I miss my mum," he muttered into the darkness as the storm raged outside the window, "I need a hug!"

Sirius rolled over, hiding a smile, still feigning sleep; Remus was better at hiding his emotions and he stayed still, resisting the urge to snigger. The three lay still for a few moments, listening to the storm which had awoken them and James's deep breathing. Suddenly there was an extra large burst of thunder, with a small yip of fear Peter bounded out of his bed and into Sirius's.

"I know I'm stunningly good looking Peter, but please! Wait until we're alone!" Sirius said laughing as he pushed Peter out of the bed and onto the floor where he landed with a loud thump. Remus could resist the urge no longer and began to giggle. James slept soundly on.

Sirius and Remus sat up in bed. "Well," said Sirius glancing around, his good humour not dampened by the fact that they had probably had about three hours sleep, between them. "Well, seeing as we're all awake what are we going to do?"

"We're not all awake," pointed out Remus, gesturing with his thumb at James, "Check out Sleeping Beauty over there."

"Oh no," said Sirius cheerfully, "If I'm awake he has to be too!" and with that he vaulted out of his bed and into James's where he bounced gently for a few moments saying "James? Jamesie?" in a singsong voice.

"Mum?" James muttered groggily before rolling over and going back to sleep.

"I think he needs a hug too," said Remus smiling and rubbing his eyes.

Peter flicked his horror struck gaze between him and Sirius who was now grinning broadly.

"Do you want your dad too?" Remus teased.

"No," replied Peter in a small voice, "Just my mum."

Sirius had started bouncing harder now, making the bed springs creak.

Remus opened his mouth, looking as though he were preparing to make a joke about the fact that James and Sirius were in the same bed and that said bed was creaking dramatically, but at that moment Sirius tripped over one of James's legs and landed in an ungraceful heap on the floor on the opposite side of the bed. James slept soundly on.

"Alright James," said Remus in a no-nonsense tone that had earned him the nickname Professor Lupin from the marauders, "Wake up, or Prince Charming here will have to kiss you!" (**A/N: **foreshadowing anyone?)

James's eyes shot open.

"How long have you been awake?" asked Sirius, sounding world weary.

"Since you tripped over me," smirked James sitting up and reaching for his glasses. "So what do ya wanna do?"

"Truth or dare!" said Sirius instantly, sitting back on James's bed and resuming his bouncing.

"No way," yelped Remus shaking his head and turning several shades paler than his usual off-white colour, "The last time we played that I wound up suspended from a chandelier in a bra!"

The others laughed as they remembered the incident.

"Oh come on," said James sill giggling, "We'll play in teams and then you'll have someone to confer on dares with."

"Fine," answered Remus settling himself more comfortably.

"Truth or dare?" James asked.

"Dare," said Remus quickly, as though getting the word out before he lost his nerve.

James and Sirius swapped a quick look and then, "Okay. We dare you to eat those odd coloured Bertie Botts Every Flavoured Beans that Sirius has been hoarding in that match box under his bed.

Remus grimaced and held out his hand for the box. Grinning wickedly Sirius passed it to him. Taking a deep breath Remus pinched his nose together and poured all of the beans into his mouth simultaneously, chewed for a few seconds, swallowed quickly and then gestured at Peter to pass him some water. "Truth or dare?" he gasped after a few more seconds.

"Tru…" began James but Sirius cut across him, "Dare," he said firmly.

This time it was Remus's turn to grin wickedly. "Fine I dare you to…put some of James's broom polish in your hair."

Sirius looked pleadingly at his friend.

Remus merely smirked, "Don't make puppy dog eyes at me Sirius Black. Do the words bra and chandelier mean anything to you?"

"Come on Sirius," said James, also grinning, "We can't lose this early on!"

"Some friend you are," muttered Sirius, but he reached for the broom polish none the less.

"Make sure you rub it through," added Remus.

Sirius gave him a disgusted look, "I'm going to wind up looking like Snivillus," he whined, doing as his friend had asked.

"Truth or dare?" said James eventually looking at Peter.

"Dare," Peter mumbled, knowing that the truth part was really a formality.

"I dare you to fly James's broom naked," said Sirius, still peeved about his hair, which now hung in lank strands around his face.

"No that really hurts," interjected James, "he can wear underwear."

The words 'How do YOU know that it hurts?' floated across Remus's mind, but on reflection he decided that he didn't want to know.

Peter sighed and picked up the broom, placing it on his bed before removing his pyjamas. He stood at the window for a moment peering into the storm which had admittedly lessened and mounted the broom.

"Quick James my camera," hissed Sirius the moment Peter's flight had begun.

James passed it over and Sirius clicked the button.

"I hate you," groaned Peter, landing back in the dormitory a minute later, "That was…that was just…mean!" he finished lamely.

James and Sirius merely laughed.

"Truth or dare?" asked Remus before it could become an out of control argument.

"Dare!" said James, anxious for his turn.

"I dare you to put that extra sticky frogspawn that you got from Zonko's last weekend in your broom."

"Not my broom!" whispered James pulling it closer to him, "Peter, mate, come on."

"Looks like a surrender from the Potter Black duet," murmured Remus to Peter.

"I didn't say that," disagreed James as Sirius made noises of disgust, "It's just…my broom."

There was another minute of silence.

"Looks like we've won," whispered Peter.

"James, I put polish in my hair, you can put frogspawn on your broom!" growled Sirius.

With shaking hands, James carried out his dare.

As the first rays of pink sunlight came over the horizon James glanced up from his task. There was a fire in his eyes that made Remus shiver slightly, the game was now getting serious and could very well end with, oh say, someone being suspended from a chandelier in a bra. Great, like he wanted to do that again.

"Truth or dare?" said Sirius.

"Dare," answered Remus, hoping that this would be the last one before classes began.

Sirius and James whispered for a moment then looked up. They both had an evil gleam in their eyes. To them that gleam meant, 'We've just come up with a fabulous new idea' to Remus it meant 'Run as fast as possible that way.' But he was after all a Gryffindor and he held his ground.

"We dare you to write I heart Professor Binns over that History of Magic Essay he wants in today."

Remus scowled. It was always the same with these two, Oh we're losing, attack the homework. He was a marauder though, and the word meant daredevil. Unhesitatingly he did as asked.

At that moment the bell went. "Does the bell always go this early?" said James in surprise looking out into the pre dawn air.

"Just because you're capable of sleeping until Sirius actually rolls you out of bed, the rest of us have to get up."

The gang stood and began to dress.

"Truth or dare?" said Remus as he did so.

"D…d…dare," said James between yawns.

Remus looked at him in a considering mannor, then at his ruined History of Magic Essay. "I dare you to slide down the banister into the Great Hall in just your underwear."

Even Sirius burst out laughing; James scowled and began to pull his robes off again. "Well I'm going now," he said, "Before the breakfast crush gets there." And with that he stalked out of the dormitory.

"Are you coming?" asked Sirius, whipping up the invisibility cloak from its customary position on the floor, "This should be priceless."

Holding in their laughter the other three ducked under the cloak and followed James.

The few early risers already in the entrance hall were treated to the amusing sight of James Potter in only his boxers sliding down the banisters and then stomping red faced back up the stairs. The remaining marauders managed not to laugh until they were round the corner then they whipped off the invisibility cloak, startling James so much that he almost fell through the trick step.

"Truth or dare?" James asked sourly, not joining in with his friends' mirth.   

"Dare!" this time it was Peter that answered.

"I dare you to stand at the top of the stairs and shout down that you love Filch!" said Sirius quickly, he had clearly been thinking of this dare for some time.

Peter looked terrified, "He'll kill me!"

Before Sirius could answer with a derogatory comment James interrupted, "You'll have to stay and see if he does it, I'm going to get dressed," and with that he left. Sirius sighed, "You upset him with that dare Remmey, he'll sulk all day now."

When James returned it seemed that Peter had performed his dare to Sirius's satisfaction, he had a weeks worth of detention to prove it.

"Truth or dare?" said Peter as they sat down for breakfast.

James was silent, still brooding over the banister incident.

"Dare!" said Sirius; his devil-may-care smile a little more tense than usual.

Remus smiled, and as the post arrived he leaned forward and said, "I dare you to write a love poem to Professor Dumbledore and send it…as a howler."

Sirius pouted, but pulled parchment and quill towards him and wrote, '_I write to tell you of my affection true,_

_How I could not be if it wasn't for you,_

_How I love you more than words can say,_

_And how I love you more with each passing day._'

"Sign it," prompted Remus.

Grimacing Sirius added the words '_With all my heart. Sirius Black._'

"I'll take it up to the owlery this afternoon and it'll arrive with tomorrows post, okay?"

"Okay," said Remus leaning back in his chair and smiling as he read over Sirius's poem.

"Truth or dare?" asked James, feeling somewhat better at the idea of Sirius making a pratt of himself as well.

"Dare!" said Peter as though determined to prove himself to James and Sirius.

At that moment Remus glanced at his watch, "Time for class," he said standing and hurrying off.

"Later," mouthed James and waving, he disappeared through the crowd.

It was at lunchtime that the boys next met up, because they had all picked separate options.

"Did you say dare?" Sirius asked Peter half way through the meal.

Peter nodded silently.

James and Sirius discussed possibilities for the rest of lunch, but it wasn't until transfiguration that afternoon that Sirius said, "Psst? Peter? Still need that hug?"

"What hug?" whispered James, half an eye on Professor McGonagall as he spoke.

"Don't tell him!" implored Peter.

Sirius half turned, "Tell you later," he muttered, and then turning back to Peter he said, "At the end of this lesson I dare you to go up to Professor McGonagall and tell her that you're missing your mum and want a hug."

James snorted.

"Mr. Potter!" said Professor McGonagall, effectively putting an end to the conversation, so it wasn't until the end of class that they knew whether Peter had accepted the dare.

Indeed he had, from the doorway the trio watched him go up to McGonagall, repeat what Sirius had said and promptly burst into tears, although whether that was from sheer mortification or because he really did miss his mum was anyone's guess.

The gang whipped around the corner so that she didn't see their laughing faces as she bent down and gave him an uncertain and somewhat awkward hug.

As Peter emerged (dripping) Remus shook his head, "We should finish this before it gets out of hand."

Sirius was still laughing, "What do you mean gets out of hand?"

Remus held up one finger, "Bra," he held up another, "Chandelier."

Sirius carried on laughing.

James gave Sirius a look which told him he thought he was behaving with the maturity of a burnt match.

"Okay," he said to Remus, "You give us one more dare, if we do it we win if we don't you do."

Remus didn't even pause to consider it, "Okay!"

He and Peter sloped into a corner and began pondering. Sirius had even stopped giggling.

"You idiot!" he hissed at James, "Who knows what Remus'll come out with."

At that moment Remus turned around, "We dare you to kiss each other!"

James's mouth was already forming the words "You win!" when Sirius turned to him.

"Come on James, I'm not that bad a kisser."

James simply gaped at him, "Sirius I love you but not like that, plus your hair is still greasy from the polish thing."

Sirius's eyes became hard and he began fingering his long, luxurious (but extremely greasy) hair.

Peter began an impromptu victory dance, "We win! We win! We wi…"

Sirius scowled, he hated losing, "Not yet you haven't," he said and grabbing James he kissed him firmly on the mouth…just as a gang of Slytherin's headed by Snape rounded the corner.

Sirius might still have been able to explain it away, ("Yeah, he got stung on the lip by something, I was sucking the poison out.") if the next morning his howler to Dumbledore hadn't arrived over breakfast…

**A/N: **So tell us what you think. And while you're telling us we're appealing for snide ness and have started a helpful suggestion box in which you can put any comments you really want. Scene 5: Resuscitation, get your ideas in now.    


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